I see you smoke…
One story I have shared with many folks over the years is about 
Aunt Peggy. She had some cards, may still have some for all I know, that she carried in her wallet.
Upon the cards were the words, “I see you smoke, well I chew. If you do not blow your smoke on me, I will not spit on you.”
I never saw her hand it to anyone, but I am betting that she did from time to time. It was certainly a nice, humorous way to get your point across.