Letter from Brenda Webb updating Aunt Lucille’s health

    Chandler and Britani have spent the summer playing Monopoly and cards, Go Fish and Solitaire.  If we go out to dinner they take a deck of cards and play while we wait for out food.  They are both almost obsessive about Board games.

    A week and a half before school started, Jenifer, Connie, the three children and I went to San Marcos to finish school clothes shopping.  We stayed at the Hampton Inn so they could swim.  Once again, as we did last year, we hit town when the University was having summer graduation.  The town had even more people than normal.  Carol said two-thirds of the population of San Marcos is college students.  We were there for Thursday and Friday nights, thinking we would avoid some of the crowds at the outlet malls.  Thursday was the good day.  Sarah is on the Arts Council who sponsor “Summer in the Park” on Thursday evening.  We went to the park with Carol to hear two different bands.  The first was a family of four; the fifteen and twelve year-olds played accordions, the thirteen year-old played the fiddle, and the eight year-old played the drums.  They were pretty good.  They other band was excellent.  They play all over the United States and play Rock-a-Billy type music.  Carol and Connie took the kids down to the river in the park and let them wade and play in the water before the music started.  The only problem we had with the kids was with Chandler who never wanted to get out of the water.  I think Jeremy and Connie are going to put Chandler on a swim team next summer in addition to his soccer teams.  He played on a select team last spring.

    I am still dealing with Judy’s “stuff”.  I managed to send her niece all of the family pictures and some of Judy’s gold Jewelry.  I also got her china packed up and took it to her niece’s in-laws.  I still have all of the residual bills to deal with.  She had no estate and all except one of the providers tell me that I am not legally responsible.  The nursing home is the problem.  Of course, the lady in the business office of the nursing home is a problem.  An hour before Judy died she was blessing me out because I had asked the social worker to call hospice about three hours earlier.  She said that Medicaid would not pick up the residual after insurance and medicare for two days before the day hospice was called.  I could not get her to understand that Judy was dying.  The hospice nurse left and had to return thirty minutes latter to pronounce death.  She said to me, “You were right, and I was wrong.”  Judy’s cousin had told me before he left about two that afternoon that I needed to tell Judy that it was alright for her to die.  I did that just before the lady in the business office talked to me.  I have the money to pay the $550 that they want, but I will not pay it because of her behavior.  The amount is minimal for three weeks of nursing home care.  Hospice is 100% by Medicare.  They were paid 100% for all but two days.  Had the nursing home been more concerned about Judy, I would have no problem paying them.  When I told the director of nursing what happened, she became angry that I was made to feel that I could not call hospice sooner than I did.  At ten that morning the doctor at the emergency room recommended hospice.  When Judy was brought back to the nursing home right after, the lady in the business office bullied me into waiting to call hospice.  She said that I needed to wait until Monday.  Because I was so upset, I let her have her way.  At four I couldn’t stand it any longer and had Hospice called.  I still feel guilty because I was not more diligent about Judy’s care.  Hospice offers grief counseling and I will be starting that in about two weeks.

    Britani had all A’s with four B’s for the first five six weeks of the year, and the last six weeks she had all B’s and one A (reading).  We had a talk about when school was over for the year; that is not when she wanted the year to end, but when the year actually ends.  She likes her teacher this year; her teacher last year was just great.  We found out in September last year that her glasses had the  lenses backwards.  The right lense on the left side, etc.  Of course, her prescription has changed again.  She reminds me of Paul Rush when it comes to wearing her glasses.

    Cameron was the only child in his pre-kindergarten class who could write his name from beginning to end correctly at the end of the year.  The school that he and Chandler attend is not too far from our Junior College which has a large program to train students in Early Childhood care.  Before the second six weeks of school started last year, the school district moved all of the pre-kinder program from the district campus the to the college campus.  Connie said that every student and student supervising teacher that came through Cameron’s class last year kept a sample of his drawings.  They were considered to be above and beyond his age level.  Jeremy’s best friend from childhood is a surrogate uncle to the boys.  He always spends time drawing with them. Jerrold has always been somewhat of a cartoonist in his spare time, even though he works for the prison administrative system.  His gifts to the boys are always something to do with them learning more about art.  Chandler is also very good, especially with details.  They have used paint, but they really center in on drawing.  Britani’s creativity is not with art, but with words.  They all three went to art camp at Jenifer’s church this past summer.  This was the second summer for Britani and Chandler.  A member of their church is a well-known artist locally and news anchor at 6 and 10 for one of the local TV stations. They let the kids use water colors, acrylics, and clay.  They have music as well.  The last day of the camp is water slide day.  The men’s group takes all of the kids on a special fishing trip once a year.  Jeremy and Jenifer always go.  David doesn’t fish.

    Ralph is seeing the doctor tomorrow morning to find out what he needs to do to tread water and continue working.  He has been diagnosed with degenerative arthritis of the spine.  Getting him to understand that there is no pill or magic solution that will take away ALL pain has been difficult.  He is having a hard time understanding that he will have to develop coping skills to manage pain.  We may try to put in a salt water pool next spring for so I could also take advantage of the water for my pain.  There are many factors to consider, the primary of which is the cost.  Out mechanic told me he has a salt water pool and that it is easier to maintain that one with chlorine.  That is the other main factor; maintenance.

    Thank you for the coloring books.  I am sure the kids will like them.  When the boys stay with me, and Britani isn’t here, they always ask me to print up coloring sheets from the Internet for them. There are a number of web sites that offer free coloring pages including grandparens.com.

    Thank you for calling mama.  She gets lonely.  She used to talk to Aunt Irene almost every day.  When Aunt Irene died, Aunt Ruth started calling frequently.  Now mother has noticed Aunt Ruth’s dementia and has trouble talking to her.  When you are 84, you have outlived most all of your friends.  Mama has one friend left, but her daughter lives in Houston and has had back surgery and cancer in the last four or five years, so mama’s friend is out of town a lot.  It has gotten so hard for mama to go anywhere that she gets depressed.  We recognize that all she has is the telephone and the TV. She really gets depressed when she tries to sew or crochet; it is so physically hard for her.  She will be better with football season starting so that she can argue with Lester.

    Thank you again for your gift.

Love, Brenda