Every Time I Went to Kiss Her

When I was a young teenager my father had a hi-fi stereo, state of the art. We boys were not supposed to touch it, but of course we occasionally did. In my father’s LP collection was a comedy record that we had been explicitly charged with not listening to…under any circumstances. That ranks right up there with waving the old proverbial red handkerchief at “el Toro”, with telling Brett Favre he should retire, or Mt. Everest beaconing Sir Edmund Hillary. It became a challenge. I had to hear that comedy record.

Well I found myself alone in the house one day, and I went directly to my father’s state of the art hi-fi stereo. I placed the forbidden LP upon the turntable and gave it a listen. I really do not remember much that was upon that LP. Some of it was off color, but I do remember thinking, “Why all the big fuss?” There was however one song that did stick in my mind. The beginning went something like this…

I loved a girl so big and fat
That every time I went to kiss her
I did not know where I was at
So I took a piece of chalk
And starting marking around her
Lo and behold who should I met
But Charlie coming around the other way

It stuck in my mind so much that I have shared it many folks over the years, especially when there has been a reason to share it.   Lately it seems like there is always a reason to share it.

My daughter calls me, does not get me first try and leaves a message that she wants to share a story with me. I call her back and she tells the follow tale.

She is at a fair there in Oregon. She passes a tent and hears a song come from within. She stops and tells her 13 year old daughter to listen. Of course, the first thing Bryanna does is roll her eyes into the back of her head.   She then asks Bryanna who she knows that sings this song. When she first said that my guess was going to be that it was the ‘Banana Song’. The name that the grandkids call me, “Papa Deo” derives from that song, but that is another story.   It was, however, the fine piece of doggerel from my father’s forbidden comedy LP.

You just never know what kids will remember and bring forth to the next generation.